Animal Hoarding= Rapist God

The curiousity was too much. 

I watched 'Confessions of animal hoarders' on Animal Planet. At first, I was just shocked. Mouth open, teeth getting too much breeze: shocked. It's a good show, really. They take you through these people's stories- they show how this mess happened. These are rational, reasonable people. They are not totally bonkers.  But they are exhibiting behavoir that would lead you to believe otherwise. One woman, was divorced 3 times and the pain was just too much. She said: "I know what to expect from my birds, I know they wont judge me or divorce me or leave me."     (Yeah, cuz the cages are locked.) 

But, really- when they break it down, all of these people are trying to ease their pain. They are 'self-medicating' with animals. As awful as that sounds- I started wondering how I 'hoard' or self-medicate in unhealthy ways. We ALL have pain. We all know sorrow and heart-break that we feel is so intense, and other people look so normal, that we MUST be the only ones carrying around this weeping  wound.

It was glaringly obvious how important it is to know how to deal with pain. If I don't work on this, if I don't actively have a plan, or know how to release pain, it's a slippery slope to Crazy Town. 

All who know me, who know my past- I've done some crazy stuff, too. Cutting, self-mutilation, etc...

 Most of the people on the show, are completely unaware that they are being abusive to their precious animals. They don't let them outside AT ALL, because- as one lady said: "I am protecting my doggies. I am saving them from getting hit by a car."

I wondered if I feed on people, in a sense, 'self-medicate' by sucking from an unhealthy relationship.

Am I an 'emotional vampire?'

 Do I self-medicate on praises of people? Do I use my friends empathy, or sympathy to my problems (of course, from my perspective, I am ALWAYS the victim, who didn't do ANYTHING wrong- and everyone else involved is a selfish monster...riiight) to soothe myself when I need to bring it before God? Do I hold people emotionally hostage to my issues so they will stroke my pride & ego?

Everyone can be less selfish. We all have learning to do.

And then it hit me. Some people portray God as being an 'animal hoarder.' That He wants to control us, trap us, put us within His boundary, under the guise that it is 'good for us.' Keep us in a filthy house where we don't have the choice to make bad decisions.

What if you can still make a bad choice while in heaven?

 What if, God isn't EVEN then, going to grab the controls to your 'person' and make you do what is good & right?

Lucifer found a poor choice in heaven.

Granted, there is a flow- when we surrender, Holy Spirit and the love of Christ is a pull, compelling, drawing, leading... I am not saying against that. I am saying, God does not usurp our will. He does not hold someone captive against their will.

 He is not a rapist.